Remembering Roxy

Remembering pets that have passed can be hard, especially when you can still hear the sounds they make, the barks, the meows, the tail wags, and still feel their fur and tongue.  Their presence has left you with a void and it takes a while to even feel sane again.  Losing a pet is oftentimes as hard as losing a family member.  Pets just don't typically live as long as us and the amount of the love they give in their short stay on earth is truly incredible.
Despite how hard it is, however, the important thing to remember about your beloved pet is the wonderful memories you made with them.  Your pet may be gone, but the memories are not and those are what your pet would want you to remember about them.  They would want you to smile when you think of them, not cry.
When I remember my dog Roxy, I still cry sometimes, despite trying my best to keep a smile on my face.  Having her around was the best thing about my childhood.  She snuggled me when I was sad, made me laugh by spraying me with the hose, and gave me something to look forward to every day.  I got her for my 6th birthday, so losing her in high school, was like losing a sister.  I couldn't remember being without her.  However, she had cancer, which was finally catching up to her.  She had been healthy her whole life.  Sometimes I wondered why this had to happen to her and to my family.  I cried for weeks, months even when I found out Roxy had cancer.  After all, the Vet told us we had 2 weeks-2 months with her.  I was scared she wouldn't make it to Christmas, that I wouldn't have my whole family to open presents with.  Watching Roxy open her presents gave me so much joy, and I didn't want to lose that just yet.
But, Roxy lived through Christmas and to the beginning of June that next year, 7 months, when she had only been given 2 months at the most!  I was so incredibly thankful that she was her happy and playful self for so long with cancer.  7 months post diagnosis, however, her breathing was starting to worsen.  The cancer that was in her throat was starting to pose a major problem to her.  We knew it was time.  We didn't want it to be as I don't think any pet owner does.  But, we wanted to do right by her, especially since she had added so much to our lives.
Moving that summer was a big help to my mental state.  A change of scenery and a busy summer made me forget some of the pain I felt about losing Roxy.  It is still there, however, but I have always felt that everything happens for a reason.  Sometimes we don't know what that reason is, but one day hopefully we can find it.  At first I thought my reason was to raise awareness for dogs with cancer, but now, however, I want to make it my mission to treat cancer dogs holistically as a Vet.  When Roxy was diagnosed she was given really only one option, pain meds, since removing the tumor posed too difficult a task and the likelihood of it returning soon after was great.  We were fortunate, however, that it took a long time for the tumor to change at all.  We were also fortunate that she was already almost 11 and had lived a full and wonderful life.
I still think of Roxy every day, but usually it's when I'm remembering her swimming in Lake Superior with me or cuddling with Abby.  Roxy had so much personality and had more brains than a lot of people.  She could reason more than any dog I have ever met.  She taught herself to open doors, but she also opened the door to our hearts and gave us more love than we ever expected.  She was a teacher to Mimi, a threat to delivery men, and a best friend to my family and many of our friends.
With all that in mind, it is only fitting that her name graces the background of my laptop, a daily reminder of how amazing she was and how much she adored Lake Superior, where we have thought about spreading her ashes one day.  In my mind, every pet deserves to be remembered for all the love they have given and all their quirks.  That doesn't mean you don't have room in your heart for other pets, it just means that one spot it still filled with love for one special furry friend.